https://cb.run/Mssoctafx
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OctaFX
About the workshop
Casino Affiliattes Wanted
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Monday, 6 June 2022
HERE IS 1K FREE TO TRADE - 100% TRUE
Saturday, 4 June 2022
ONE TEAR LEFT ... MUMMY Chapter 5 - Another chapter opens Melandre
Cont from Chapter 4:
And to that Morning as Lindi, Kim and I just wanted to turn the page of the book, it was too hard..... I'll meet up with you again on Page 5....Tanya....
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Page 5 - Ch 5
June 6, 2018 I learn to pray again.
Hey Mummy. So yeah, as you know, I got this massive project to work on and I'm quite nervous as u not by my side in flesh to motivate me on this one. Eish... nobody... Ma... it's truly so hard for me here alone. I'm just about floating to maintain both girls and I, and our roof, and chow and blah blah blah... but Ja ... I still maintain that smile you taught me to carry on... and be that soldier...Ma....as I open the quicket ticket bookings for the show after chatting to my best friend and almighty Queen Mother..
... I pray to the almighty Father of all creation, giver of life and miracles, whom I remain in faith and hunger for more, as Mummy has raised me to ... to boost me with the confidence I once had within myself and return that missing flame hiding within the depth of my
SOUL....to resurface and come alive again and me to BELIEVE in ME again... to BELIEVE those sponsors will come knocking on my door and hand my key to the road back to success once again... and to believe this event will be sold out even before September arrives.
Lord I am tired! Lord I am exhausted! in need to be exhalted....
But not too tired to give up yet...
So....now....?
I ask to lift these caterpillars on either shoulder to be removed off from me. I ask for wiser understandings to ease these constant yearnings in my spirit that feels much worse than witnessing an entire country being slashed into broken pieces and smelling death after the tsunami... so that I CAN also help others understand too...and so that we ... on earth... together... can carry our crosses easier, and journey on to our chores to be done on earth...
I ask you Father God, and all my Angels.... . Gramps, Jackie Usher, Jackie Williams, my Rudy , oh Laydon Dunn, my
Ma Pat... my Vani.... and my very own, of who from my womb , has been born and blessed to earth for a beautiful 6 years.... my Son, Milano Craig Leevale Williams ... to guide me ... with my head of angels... you Ma ...
I suppose I needed time to slip and fall the past Two and a half years.... of indeed I did... as you saw... my pain is known... yet not noticed...
Lord... . One opportunity. .. Lord... this instrument... this temple... this harp... is ready to sing again... carry me... .
Amen...
And then I woke up ..
Only about June, 2018, (says my therapist) had my mental mind start realizing that what happened...had actually happened. As I was leaving a part time job, instead of going home, I went towards Addington Primary school to fetch my Son from karate. Only did I wake up in front of Falaise, Mom's flat, only to look up if she's home... The usual open window that signals me that she's home was closed up... I had completely forgotten ...I thought I was going insane! 2 years later... Immediately at that bus stop in front of South Sands I called my therapist, '' doc, I'm gonna have a shot or 4 now at natajaks! I forgot that my family is gone!!! ''. Calmly she responded as if she was waiting on my call says it's only but a good sign, as my mind is starting to tell me that it actually did happen...
I've been totally lost the first two years walking in a desert of silence to the world with a smile, but so much pain that flooded over my own emotional control... My heart and my mind started realizing the truth (I close my eyes now as I type this to you to breathe) ... Even though my soul knew all along. This was about February 2018... When I returned to church... But... I still had to return to God...
22 April 2019
I'm still very far, and trembling in my boots, because I'm unsure where this path is leading me. Time heals? No. Time reveals first... The truth of what my heart refuses to accept. The healing? Well... That's why I got to keep carrying this cross on my shoulder just like Jesus did for us, and walk this path with superior faith in God that I indeed am walking to the light of acceptance and not a shadow of deceit...
14, 15,16,17 June 2019 Pam, Timo n I -Well well well. They finally get to meet Ma. They were both in and out your flat. Kissy wissy first two days to only be waking up 1h16am with screams of her missing phone. Oh my word, now, we sit in my room in Trinity of in depth discussion. Lol Pam my friend, the tag of friendship caring is on you this Sunday evening as we playing with the salt in between the fingers. Poor hard drive had to suffer the circumstances. Ms office step one in getting your flat back.
l learned the hard way... 29 June 2019. Checking out yo! hello-world. YUP! so like, I have nooooo
uncooked clue what I'm doing, in GitHub.com
but surely hoping to soon.
Remaining the Challenger Mummy!
Tanya Twista! The pessimist finds difficulty
In every opportunity, and the
optemist finds an opportunity
to every difficulty! That's
me! I refuse to pack up your
grocery bag, or be your common
teller at your local bank!
I'm a panther with or without
my team. I'll take you to the
water, but you have GOT to
drink that crap yourself!
UNLESS OFCOURSE, we go further together and aim for that
bubblegum shake?
I have loved and I have
lost, even my entire family
was a cost!
Including my little 6 year
old prince, Milano Williams;
I witnessed the burial of my
Very own Son, together and
laying right next to, and
with My Mummy Chereldene
Hamann and more… I JUST HAD to convert my
insane, tormented and broken
shattered mentality (and all
on my own by the way, as my
surviving daughter had to
see some kinda light), I
forced myself a better
reasoning in my soul, that
Heaven was literally falling
apart. So today I stand
proud, that Father God chose
MY family to kick some but
around there, in order to save
more souls.
Now, don't be getting jealous on me ya'll. Just because God chose my peeps, it be cool, at Least, I still got you.
I'm still very far, and trembling in my boots, because I'm unsure where this path is leading me. Time heals? No. Time reveals first... The truth of what my heart refuses to accept. The healing? Well... That's why I got to keep carrying this cross on my shoulder just like Jesus did for us, and walk this path with superior faith in God that I indeed am walking to the light of acceptance and not a shadow of deceit...
14, 15,16,17 June 2019 Pam, Timo n I -Well well well. They finally get to meet Ma. They were both in and out your flat. Kissy wissy first two days to only be waking up 1h16am with screams of her missing phone. Oh my word, now, we sit in my room in Trinity of in depth discussion. Lol Pam my friend, the tag of friendship caring is on you this Sunday evening as we playing with the salt in between the fingers. Poor hard drive had to suffer the circumstances. Ms office step one in getting your flat back. l learned the hard way... 29 June 2019. Checking out yo! hello-world. YUP! so like, I have nooooo
uncooked clue what I'm doing, in GitHub.com
but surely hoping to soon.
Remaining the Challenger Mummy!
Tanya Twista! The pessimist finds difficulty
In every opportunity, and the
optemist finds an opportunity
to every difficulty! That's
me! I refuse to pack up your
grocery bag, or be your common
teller at your local bank!
I'm a panther with or without
my team. I'll take you to the
water, but you have GOT to
drink that crap yourself!
UNLESS OFCOURSE, we go further together and aim for that
bubblegum shake?
I have loved and I have
lost, even my entire family
was a cost!
Including my little 6 year
old prince, Milano Williams;
I witnessed the burial of my
Very own Son, together and
laying right next to, and
with My Mummy Chereldene
Hamann and more… I JUST HAD to convert my
insane, tormented and broken
shattered mentality (and all
on my own by the way, as my
surviving daughter had to
see some kinda light), I
forced myself a better
reasoning in my soul, that
Heaven was literally falling
apart. So today I stand
proud, that Father God chose
MY family to kick some but
around there, in order to save
more souls.
Now, don't ya'll be jealous
just because I'm the lucky
one. Rather take my hand,
and understand,I may have
now become a solo silent band,
but In my soul I know my
family invested in me…
So I'm humbled, and glad…
Ms. Tanya Williams.
The Instrument Left Behind… crib... Fre Dre your nigga, neighbor... Septembers - 2016 breakdown. 2017 mild stroke. 2018 Addington just not well. Memories - Reneece, Faizel, Dallah u just disappeared little bro :( - Ma Lynette and uncle kaks).
11 July 2019 - lights cut off. My worst enemy. R1600 short plus reconnection. I sit here and just lit my enemy....fire. my daughter runs wild with memories of September 26. She lies in silence on her bead, but I know what she knows, torment. Now I strain my brain. Who is gonna help us? Laughing out loud the sadness in my heart. But hush Tanya, hush. Nobody needs to know...
Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. Be you...
'
Only about June, 2018, (says my therapist) had my mental mind start realizing that what happened...had really actually happened. As I was leaving a part time job at the attorney, instead of going home, I went straight towards Addington Primary school to fetch my Son from karate, you know? a typical Wednesday duty. When I arrived in front of Falaise, Mom's flat, to look up if she's home... The usual open window that signals me that she's home, was closed up... I had completely forgotten ...I was going insane!
2 years later... Immediately at that bus stop in front of South Sands I called my therapist, '' doc, I'm gonna have a shot or 4 now at natajaks! I forgot that my family is gone!!! ''. Calmly she responded as if she was waiting on my call to tell her this same event, calmly she says it's only but a good sign, as my mind is starting to tell me that it actually did happen...
I've been totally lost the first two years walking in a desert of silence to the world with a smile, but so much pain that flooded over my own emotional control... My heart and my mind started realizing the truth (I close my eyes now as I type this to you to breathe) ... Even though my soul knew all along. This was about February 2018... When I returned to church... But... I still had to return to God...
I'm still very far, and trembling in my boots, because I'm unsure where this path is leading me.
Time heals? No. Time reveals first... The truth of what my heart refuses to accept. The healing? Well... That's why I got to keep carrying this cross on my shoulder just like Jesus did for us, and walk this path with superior faith in God that I indeed am walking to the light of acceptance and not a shadow of deceit...
9 December 2018
Pinnacle Shipping Solutions remind me of who I used to be... God Bless the firm and all whom supported me... Joy in my spirit...
10 January 2019
Your birthday Guru, Prince of Tanya and Byron Williams. As Zane pulled up, that grip in my hand...
[gallery type="slideshow" ids="1469,1471,1474,1467,1465,1464,1463,1462,1461,1460,1459,1458"]
Pamela Cheryl Jamali...oh that candle... My sister! Etc etc etc ....... CHAPTER MEMORY LANE: 1 July 2019 ready D memory... 91 - 93. ZANE. BO$$ 2011? MYSPACE N FB FAN PAGE...
(https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/)
The pessimist seeks difficulty in every opportunity, yet the optemist finds opportunity in every difficulty! Whom do you choose to be? I hope to be an asset to your readings as you grow on your path and your journey. For three years I had somebody's, yet, there was actually nobody... I have tried and tested them in my days of broke, and what I've come to realize? Keep your circle smaller than the back of your hand. - TANYA Williams
Memory: klipspruit little black bike.
My letter to the Parent that is happy to come across my letter....
I once was that prodigal child — lost, angry, and struggling to find my identity. Hardened on the outside, but deeply hurting within. The pain of my choices was not only destroying me, but creating heartache within our family and severing my relationships with the people who loved me most.
By God’s grace, my Mom did not give up on me — She prayed for me and here I am today. Thank you Mummy. I love you. Never give up on our children, no matter how much they hurt or persecute us.
Someday they will return... home.
It’s incredibly hard to pray for anything but a comfortable, successful, and pain-free life for our children. But as parents, the greatest eternal good that we can pray for them is their salvation over their earthly happiness or comfort. We have to fight for them in this world filled with temporary pleasures, self-gratification, and blurry lines — entrusting their lives to our Lord — even if the path of salvation comes through pain.
I am eternally grateful that my Mom loves me enough to pray for my brokenness, a brokenness that would lead to healing.
My path of brokenness nearly killed me.
After a devastating loss of my identity, my first two years of utter depression, my life spiraled out of control. I searched for identity and purpose in anything but Jesus. As self-destructive patterns drove me deeper into despair, I longed for an escape from this world, totally! ultimately landing me in the protection of a hospital, not twice not thrice! The breakdown, the stroke, the month I decided I want to experiment with drugs and be an alcoholic... My point? Nobody's perfect! Surprisingly just the other day I was threatened by the very same I experienced that life with, yet, the more she condemed my new choice, the calmer I responded... Knowing someday, she will join me...
In that stark white hospital room, the choice before me was clear: be crushed by the weight of my sin or lay the broken pieces of my life at his feet. By his grace, he led me to my knees and has been redeeming those broken pieces ever since. My journey is still very far from over my friends and family...
We will only be bold enough to pray a prayer of brokenness over our children when we ourselves have been broken before God and trust his love for our children and us. It’s only when we have completely surrendered our children to him that we can pray, “Father, use what you must to save my child from an eternity apart from you, no matter the cost.”
Pray against the enemy’s desire to have them.
I have read that “We will only be bold enough to pray for our child’s brokenness when we ourselves have been broken before God.”
A battle is being waged over our children’s lives. We have to fight for them, especially when blindness keeps them from fighting the battle themselves.
I remember my mom telling me the story of a time when I was standing with her, angry at the world, and taking it out on her. She looked at me and said boldly, “I am fighting for you, humble to your Queen!” I hushed down quicker than you read this sentence.
Although we don’t have a guarantee of our have turned again, strengthen your brothers” (Luke 22:31–32).
Even if your child wants nothing to do with the truth, This is another mighty weapon God has given to parents.
My Mom has prayed Psalm 18:16–19 over my life and pray it often:
He sent from on high, he took me;
he drew me out of many waters.
He rescued me from my strong enemy
and from those who hated me,
for they were too mighty for me.
They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
but the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a broad place;
he rescued me, because he delighted in me.
It truly amazes me to look back and see how faithful God was to answer Mummy's prayer. I was drowning in self-destruction, abuse from others, rebelliousness, and sorrows too deep to understand at the time. God, in his mercy, drew me out of many deep waters, and rescued me from my own flesh and Satan’s desire for me.
“While we must teach and train our children, and put boundaries in place, we have no control over their hearts.”
As I sat at South Beach Shopping centre, staring at 32 Falaise where my family lives, no longer wanting to live, God rescued me, he brought Wendy, out into a broad place, and showed me that he delighted in me (despite my unworthiness). He has continued to be faithful to this prayer, upholding me through many deep waters and carrying me through many dark days.
Parents, no matter how far your child seems to be from Jesus or what path they are on, you can fight for their life with the powerful weapon of God’s word.
The Power of a Praying Parent
I am learning this on a new level and Parents, so should you. Look through the eyes of a Mother who has one child on Earth and the other child, who eternally will be 6 years old in my soul. Look through the eyes of me...
"God has made a promise — and sealed it with his Son’s blood — that he will give back more."
John Piper
All my love to Parents who are glad for coming across this letter.
Tanya Williams
https://googleweblight.com/i?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.iol.co.za%2Fnews%2Fsouth-africa%2Fkwazulu-natal%2Fboy-6-dies-in-south-beach-flat-fire-1922124&geid=NSTNR
I still have freinds?
May 2016
Still isn't yet. Still far from that.., but a close freind of mine named WENDY JOHNSON is by my side since even before my pain. When it was days of impossible, she made means to literally come see me? That meant more to me than what she even can guess. That day, as Wendy Johnson departed from me, she didn't realize that she was actually the first ever freind to visit me😞. In my wave goodbye, and in my silence, I went to the bathroom at the shopping center and wept in silence in thanks and praise to God.. I still have a freind....Guilty as charged for keeping me on earth💓💓💓💓
Praying as I'm pushing. God helps those who help themselves. I'm down, but rich with faith in my soul that someday my blessings will come tenfold.
WENDY I QUIT THAT DAY...
I still have freinds? May 2016 Still isn't yet. Still far from that.., but a close freind of mine named WENDY JOHNSON is by my side since even before my pain. When it was days of impossible, she made means to literally come see me? That meant more to me than what she even can guess. That day, as Wendy Johnson departed from me, she didn't realize that she was actually the first ever freind to visit me. In my wave goodbye, and in my silence, I went to the bathroom at the shopping center and wept in silence in thanks and praise to God.. I still have a freind....Guilty as charged for keeping me on earth. If you didn't come that specific day, I wouldn't have crushed up that letter of goodbye to my daughter. I'm May 2016 I bought this flat for her to be okay so that I could pick up the gun I bought backstreet knowing she's roofed with her baby.
, 15,16,17 June 2019 Pam, Timo n I -Well well well. They finally get to meet Ma. They were both in and out your flat. Kissy wissy first two days to only be waking up 1h16am with screams of her missing phone. Oh my word, now, we sit in my room in Trinity of in depth discussion. Lol Pam my friend, the tag of friendship caring is on you this Sunday evening as we playing with the salt in between the fingers. Poor hard drive had to suffer the circumstances. Ms office step one in getting your flat back
. l learned the hard way... 29 June 2019. Checking out yo! hello-world. YUP! so like, I have nooooo uncooked clue what I'm doing, in GitHub.com but surely hoping to soon. Remaining the Challenger Mummy! Tanya Twista! The pessimist finds difficulty In every opportunity, and the optemist finds an opportunity to every difficulty! That's me! I refuse to pack up your grocery bag, or be your common teller at your local bank! I'm a panther with or without my team. I'll take you to the water, but you have GOT to drink that crap yourself! UNLESS OFCOURSE, we go further together and aim for that bubblegum shake? I have loved and I have lost, even my entire family was a cost! Including my little 6 year old prince, Milano Williams; I witnessed the burial of my Very own Son, together and laying right next to, and with My Mummy Chereldene Hamann and more… I JUST HAD to convert my insane, tormented and broken shattered mentality (and all on my own by the way, as my surviving daughter had to see some kinda light), I forced myself a better reasoning in my soul, that Heaven was literally falling apart. So today I stand proud, that Father God chose MY family to kick some but around there, in order to save more souls. Now, don't ya'll be jealous just because I'm the lucky one. Rather take my hand, and understand,I may have now become a solo silent band, but In my soul I know my family invested in me… So I'm humbled, and glad… Ms. Tanya Williams. The Instrument Left Behind… crib... Fre Dre your nigga, neighbor... Septembers - 2016 breakdown. 2017 mild stroke. 2018 Addington just not well. Memories - Reneece, Faizel, Dallah u just disappeared little bro :( - Ma Lynette and uncle kaks).
11 July 2019 . My worst enemy. R1600 short plus reconnection. I sit here and just lit my enemy....fire. my daughter runs wild with memories of September 26. She lies in silence on her bead, but I know what she knows, torment. Now I strain my brain. Who is gonna help us? Laughing out loud the sadness in my heart. But hush Tanya, hush. Nobody needs to know... Would you like to purchase my book of motivation and testimony, "One Tear Left...Mummy"? R 300. Please do ask me personally. Thank you.
21 JULY 2019 Letter to Superblist:
Hi Superblist. As an individual who started off my prior last two little firms when Mom Chereldene Hamann was still on earth, sheeesh! indeed, we had hiccups, we learnt the tough way, many lessons and taken notes re: customer is always right and all that bla bla bla blady. Unless you have experienced, from scratch, with faith, independance and the PASSION to hold on to a dream of uplifting and promoting the skills of our awesome YOUTH in South Africa, you'd never know what feeling it is when the individual has been told that his design/ painting, earnings, bag, etc.has been purchased! That's already a second chance given without the client even aware of the pride and BLESSING that the youth has just been given the motivation and determination to continue a career dreamed of. The hiccups of starting a little firm is only but normal as we learn as new directors/ teachers/ trainers/ New Moms and Dad's. With my second child, 6 year old Milano Williams (R.I.P), Lord knows I had better knowledge hehe! Superblist, We've given birth to our new little firm, CHERLANO PTY LTD (Cheryl & Lano), this time without Mom, and would like to be an affiliate for you by displaying your beautiful items to my site with the skills we teach and train our communities in kwa Zulu Natal. It's an official venture firm constantly seeking sponsorship for upliftment projects, and we really small whom cannot promise much, but hopefully our current database will have an interest to your work you display. It is now 2019 going closer to 2020. We are in hope that we can United March into the newer millennium much more business ethics knowledgeable and stronger aiming for higher than the stars in customer satisfaction! Please, do contact our management/ marketing team should you be interested in going forth to assist in our proposal herewith. admin@tashtan.co.za.
9 August 2019 - Woman's day. Scaringly I never thought I would be ready yet. Ninja you rock! Thobeka Dhlomo, my karnal, a queen of your own!
Author Tanya Williams
One Tear left ... Mummy
Book Proposal of Tanya Williams
As I pick up his skull to place back onto Gramps head, and done as if a normal chore for me, as I've already seen that much, my soul again screams. The flash scene of that white body bag hits back into the core of my memory, to the moment that they carried Mummy out of the building towards the mortuary van. Kim starts squeezing my lifeless hand in her agony of disbelief, but this is the one and only time since she was born, that I cannot help her pain at all. In fact, I've now forgotten her right next to me. My eyes grow just as wide and shocked again just as this day is clear. Again, Isee her arm stretched out as if pointing to, or reaching out to someone. I don’t know how many times a day I’ve been taking in these deep breathes of shock to breathe out again, honestly not wanting to. This is my spirit speaking and exposing my silence of the day I lost my family consisting of Grampa, Mummy, Rudy, Ma Pat and my loving 6 year old little Angel Son, Milano Williams, from the day of the fire on the 26 September 2015.
I know Mummy is lying in that casket behind me, but I don’t want to turn to face another look of the condition that the fire had demolished her body. My 6 year old little Angel waits for his Mummy to dress him up one last time.
Thank you for reading. I hope it benefits.
https://www.iol.co.za/news/south-africa/kwazulu-natal/boy-6-dies-in-south-beach-flat-fire-1922124
Boy, 6, dies in South Beach flat fire
HEADLINES:
By Zainul Dawood Sep 28, 2015
Durban - Three generations of a Durban family - a 6-year-old boy, his granny and his great-grandfather - died in a devastating fire at their South Beach flat at the weekend.
Chereldene Hamann, 55, her father, Benjamin Collins, 80, and Hamann’s grandson, Milano Williams, 6, lost their lives.
Milano’s mother, Tanya Williams, said her cousin, Rudy Berries, was woken by Chereldene’s screams.
“He grabbed Milano and rushed out of the flat and handed the boy to a neighbour in the corridor who rushed him to hospital,” she said.
“Rudy ran back into the burning flat, but he could not hear Chereldene’s voice any more. He was out of breath and could not see anything inside the flat.”
She could not say how the fire started. Williams said her mother tried to pull Collins out of the bedroom while he was on fire.
“My mother had long hair and I think the fire caught it. Words cannot express what I am going through. We cannot announce the funeral details as yet. DNA must be taken from me and my mother’s brother, Edmund Williams, to confirm their identity.
“It will be painful to tell the school of Milano’s death,” Williams said.
The fire gutted the bedroom of the third-floor flat in the Falaise building in Prince Street. Residents living on the third floor and those above heard the screams and scrambled to douse the flames using the building’s fire hoses.
One of the residents rushed the child to hospital, but the boy died on arrival.
When the fire was out, Hamann and Collins were found dead in the bedroom.
The Falaise building board of trustees chairwoman, Koba Lewington, said they were reluctant to speculate on the cause of the blaze.
However she said the flat had not had electricity for a day.
“We can only assume they might have been using candles that night,” she said.
A neighbour said she was traumatised. Residents woke up at 3.20am on Saturday to the smell of smoke and tried to find its source.
Christy Naidoo, a resident who lives above the burnt flat, said his son had alerted him to the smoke.
“I thought the geyser was on fire, so I had a look but smoke was coming through from the bottom floor geyser compartment. I rushed to warn them to switch the geyser off.”
Naidoo said he did not know how many people were in the flat at the time.
“When I got down a flight of stairs smoke filled the corridor. Flames were high and reaching the roof of the flat. I ran to inform the security guard and building supervisor,” Naidoo said.
“The flames were high in the bedroom from what we could see. Many residents gathered.
“We pulled hosepipes from the nearest floors and began watering down the bedroom through the window on the corridor,” he said.
He said three hosepipes had been used to fight the fire. The nozzles were put through gaps between the broken window panes.
After 20 minutes they had the fire out.
Among the residents was a fireman who went inside the flat and stopped the fire from spreading.
Naidoo said the building supervisor was brave for trying to get to the family, but was overwhelmed by smoke.
“It was tragic and our hearts sank when we found out how many were inside. It was hysterical trying to fight the blaze and avoid breathing in smoke,” Naidoo said.
It is thought that Benjamin and Milano came to the flat for a sleepover.
It is thought? Is that the publishing quality of today? What pisses me Off is that if they asked instead of speculate, then paparazzi could have printed a load of Truth for you about that day that can only be spoken from the tongues of Kim, Lindiwe and I… Tanya.
Day of rest:
A pain like felt a double edged razor sliced worse than The Excalibur itself, slitting soldiers down the centre of the spinal cord...
The pessimist seeks difficulty in every opportunity, yet the optemist finds opportunity in every difficulty!
Whom do you choose to be? I hope to be an asset to your readings as you grow on your path and your journey. For three years I had somebody's, yet, there was actually nobody... I have tried and tested them in my days of broke, and what I've come to realize? Keep your circle smaller than the back of your hand. Tans
Williams Memory:
For some unexplainable reason my mind races back to when I had not even understood what pain is as I image myself walking in the tunnel under the main busy road of Klipspruit with one tracksuit leg rolled up behind Irwin and Claudio as we used to like investigating whatever seemed entertaining to our tiny selves. He really miss my favourite Oaks. We could possibly have been around maybe 6 or 7 years old then. I then flash a picture of them riding on their little black bikes that every child just has to have, where I had a tiny ounce of jealousy because I couldn't have one. Or after a movie everybody went to karate each other on the lawn outside. After I got hurt I wasn't allowed to play that game with the boys anymore, and there was sad me until the oneday. I remember clearly the gushing internal excitement in my little veins once Mummy took out my roller skates while I was drawing on the side pavement with a picked up piece of white chalk looking thingy. I was the only girl outside because Karen was helping Aunty Deez with in kitchen and Tanya wasn't at home. My entire being pounced up right into my throat at the sight of my new present I've always wanted and over excitedly hopped all over in one spot not taking my eyes off while Mummy attempts her best to get me to stand still, to gey my foot into these skates properly! At this point I had felt even mightier than Queen Sheeba (who ever that may be!), Or mighty Isis, and even more powerful than He - man's girlfriend She-Ra, because now the boys had actually come to a dead halt to see my new challenge of owning such awesome toys that nobody yet had in my hood. With my one eyebrow lifted in a show off kind of style, I opted to make as if I hadn't noticed my cousins and Nathaniel's glares and open mouths at me, but looked Mommy istenening intentively quite nervous as my hands clawed into her arms as we start learning. Not even 2 minutes passed, and the boys were killing it with laughter for the scene of my first fall straight on my bum. Clearly "idiots!" is the only thing going through the mind of a little proud girl at the time, promising myself that I'm going to show them, that someday they going to see me wreck it in my rollers! Which of course, I indeed accomplished as a blading champ years after that day hey! I remember Mummy's smile that Sunday in klipspruit. Not sure if it was a birthday or not. I hear her church choir singing voice as she sweetly calls "Angel! Where you, come see here!". I still feel her aura coming closer to the spot where she finds me. As she looks at my drawings aligned on the side pavement, that awesome womanly scent of her red door in reality now strokes my heart most sorely. As I grab my heart with it's valve blocking the artery, I again take another deep breathe of shock, but her distanced voice returns as if next to me, and I'm returned back into the soul of that small Tanya again. Mummy yells out, "Eina man, you gonna break my arm!" as she giggles at my nervousness. My eyes close very slowly as if in a action of scared to close them because this dream will go away as the memory plays out. I return to earth, and here, in a beautifuly chosen casket, I see remains of what doesn't even look close to the one who I choose to remember in my thoughts, in a perfecy portrait pictured frame, much more priceless than Mona Lisa. My breathe disturbs me for air again, as claustrophobic nothingness chokes me into a sorrowful corner. Claudio, Karen and Irwin had been my favorite cousins and always happily growing up together with Granny always by our side. Irwin and I have had the bond right through to adult hood and I still love my cousin just as much. I truly miss you. I'm laughing out aloud as I'm telling you about him always having the biggest birthday cakes! It takes me to the massive blue ship one he had one birthday. I'm not sure if my little eyes could have been deceiving the gigantic size I thought as a toddler, but I must have been in thought that he'll never be sad for the whole year because he's going to have cake everyday for the rest of his life!
1 March 2022 - I've 🐝 struggling to sleep since the 28 Feb, and it's now 2 years that you're gone love. In an instant I found my soul inclined with my heart, waking up to his voice as if he was really here in my room whispering something I could hardly hear, but as my head was bidding the pillow farewell, my ears sharpening to it now clear… He said "hey, watagwan" and a soft little giggle. I know it's silly or maybe just my imagination, but it felt real and with my tears wishing him, I smiled too bro…
Johnson, Wendy (as seen on Facebook)
As I sat at South Beach Shopping centre, staring at 32 Falaise where my family reside, I'm totally no longer in want of life. In June of 2017,, God rescued me by using my good friend as an instrument of his own image and brought Wendy out into a broad place, to show me that he still delights in me remaining here on earth (despite my unworthiness). He has continued to be faithful to ny shattered world and endless cries of prayer to him, upholding me through many deep waters, he's allowed me to walk unscathed, through the thickest layers of the earth's volcanic lava, just as errupted as the core and crusted ashes of my soul, still carrying me through many dark days. Parents, no matter how far your child seems to be from Jesus or what path they are on, you can fight for their life with the powerful weapon of God’s word. The Power of a Praying Parent is mighty! I learn this as a parent on a different scale compared to you now. Look through the eyes of a Mother who has one child on Earth and the other child, who eternally will be 6 years old in my soul. I ask, look through the eyes of me...
"God has made a promise — and sealed it with his Son’s blood — that he will give back more." John Piper.
I was once was too that prodigal child — lost, angry, and struggling to find my identity. Hardened on the outside, but deeply hurting within. The pain of my choices was not only destroying me, but creating heartache within our family and severing my relationships with the people who loved me most. By God’s grace, my Mom did not give up on me — She prayed for me and here I am today. Thank you Mummy. I love you. Never give up on our children, no matter how much they hurt or persecute us. Someday they will return... home. It’s incredibly hard to pray for anything but a comfortable, successful, and pain-free life for our children. But as parents, the greatest eternal good that we can pray for them is their salvation over their earthly happiness or comfort. We have to fight for them in this world filled with temporary pleasures, self-gratification, and blurry lines — entrusting their lives to our Lord — even if the path of salvation comes through pain. I am eternally grateful that my Mom loves me enough to pray for my brokenness, a brokenness that would lead to healing. My path of brokenness nearly killed me. After a devastating loss of my identity, my first two years of utter depression, my life spiraled out of control. I searched for identity and purpose in anything but Jesus. As self-destructive patterns drove me deeper into despair, I longed for an escape from this world, totally! ultimately landing me in the protection of a hospital, not twice not thrice! The breakdown, the stroke, the month I decided I want to experiment with drugs and be an alcoholic... My point? Nobody's perfect! Surprisingly just the other day I was threatened by the very same I experienced that life with, yet, the more she condemed my new choice, the calmer I responded... Knowing someday, she will join me... In that stark white hospital room, the choice before me was clear: be crushed by the weight of my sin or lay the broken pieces of my life at his feet. By his grace, he led me to my knees and has been redeeming those broken pieces ever since. My journey is still very far from over my friends and family... We will only be bold enough to pray a prayer of brokenness over our children when we ourselves have been broken before God and trust his love for our children and us. It’s only when we have completely surrendered our children to him that we can pray, “Father, use what you must to save my child from an eternity apart from you, no matter the cost.” Pray against the enemy’s desire to have them. I have read that “We will only be bold enough to pray for our child’s brokenness when we ourselves have been broken before God.” A battle is being waged over our children’s lives. We have to fight for them, especially when blindness keeps them from fighting the battle themselves. I remember my mom telling me the story of a time when I was standing with her, angry at the world, and taking it out on her. She looked at me and said boldly, “I am fighting for you, humble to your Queen!” I hushed down quicker than you read this sentence. Although we don’t have a guarantee of our have turned again, strengthen your brothers” (Luke 22:31–32). Even if your child wants nothing to do with the truth, This is another mighty weapon God has given to parents. My Mom has prayed Psalm 18:16–19 over my life and pray it often: He sent from on high, he took me; he drew me out of many waters. He rescued me from my strong enemy and from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me. They confronted me in the day of my calamity, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me. It truly amazes me to look back and see how faithful God was to answer Mummy's prayer. I was drowning in self-destruction, abuse from others, rebelliousness, and sorrows too deep to understand at the time. God, in his mercy, drew me out of many deep waters, and rescued me from my own flesh and Satan’s desire for me. “While we must teach and train our children, and put boundaries in place, we have no control over their hearts.”
May 2016 -
A closefreind of mine,nWENDY JOHNSON is by my side since even before my pain. When it was days of impossible, she made means to literally come see me? That meant more to me than what she even can guess, because I humbly did appreciate her 1 visit. You see the thing is, that for the first 2 years of my in depth depression from shock and therapy, a mid stroke, and a breakdown, yet all together emotionally, mentally, and phsycologicaly , I was not good to be seen in such a state anyway. Iad come at id not have not 1 single person evr any griend nornfamily bThat day, as Wendy Johnson departed from me, she didn't realize that she was actually the first ever freind to visit me😞. In my wave goodbye, and in my silence, I went to the bathroom at the shopping center and wept in silence in thanks and praise to God.. I still have a freind....Guilty as charged for keeping me on earth💓💓💓💓
Wendy Johnson, If you didn't come that specific day, I wouldn't have crushed up that letter of goodbye to my daughter. In May 2016 I bought this flat for her to be okay so that I could pick up the gun I bought backstreet knowing she's roofed with her baby. Ying yang and hanging by my neck as I'm pushing. God helps those who help themselves. I'm down, but rich with faith in my soul that someday my blessings will come tenfold.
Pamela and Timmo June 2019 Pam, Timo n I-Well well well. They finally get to meet Ma. They were both in and out of your flat. Kissy's first two days to only be waking up 1h16am with screams of her missing phone. Oh my word, now, we sit in my room in Trinity for an in-depth discussion. Lol Pam my friend, the tag of friendship caring is on you this Sunday evening as we play with the salt in between the fingers. The poor hard drive had to suffer the circumstances. Ms office steps one in getting your flat back. Unknown to the fact that you disturbed what was planned as my second death attempt.
Zane - World of shadows. One none better than the other. Greater friendship than relationship. Was always available sad moments, even 2am he's answering to my calls. Great bud.crib... Fre Dre your nigga, neighbor
Kim - My other Me (that morning)
Shaun jamalife group
l learned the hard way... 29 June 2019. Checking out yo! hello-world. YUP! so like, I have nooooo uncooked clue what I'm doing, in GitHub.com but surely hoping to soon.
Remaining the Challenger Mummy! Tanya Twista! The pessimist finds difficulty In every opportunity, and the optemist finds an opportunity to every difficulty! That's me! I refuse to pack up your grocery bag, or be your common teller at your local bank! I'm a panther with or without my team. I'll take you to the water, but you have GOT to drink that crap yourself! UNLESS OFCOURSE, we go further together and aim for that bubblegum shake? I have loved and I have lost, even my entire family was a cost! Including my little 6 year old prince, Milano Williams; I witnessed the burial of my Very own Son, together and laying right next to, and with My Mummy Chereldene Hamann and more… I JUST HAD to convert my insane, tormented and broken shattered mentality (and all on my own by the way, as my surviving daughter had to see some kinda light), I forced myself a better reasoning in my soul, that Heaven was literally falling apart. So today I stand proud, that Father God chose MY family to kick some but around there, in order to save more souls. Now, don't ya'll be jealous just because I'm the lucky one. Rather take my hand, and understand,I may have now become a solo silent band, but In my soul I know my family invested in me… So I'm humbled, and glad… Ms. Tanya Williams. The Instrument Left Behind…
September - 2016 breakdown. 2017 mild stroke. September - 2016 breakdown. 2017 mild stroke. just not well. Memories - get me out of here!!! Mela hurt. Almost gone head back together as I faked the gruesome patches of wide holes in my daughter's head that was stitched back together in 4 different places. Broken Arrow grazed my soul at her new slurred speech due to veins being split in the attack. 3 years of healing according to the doc. Bencorrum residents dropped jaws to see my little hero not wheelchair-bound, but walking back home into the building with an a. would improve. It did.
Reneece, Faizel, Dallah u just disappeared little bro :( - Ma Lynette and uncle kaks).
11 July 2019 . My worst enemy. R1600 short plus reconnection. I sit here and just lit my enemy....fire. my daughter runs wild with memories of September 26. She lies in silence on her bead, but I know what she knows, torment. Now I strain my brain. Who is gonna help us? Laughing out lo the sadness in my heart. But hush Tanya, hush. Nobody needs to know... Would you like to purchase my book of motivation and testimony, "One Tear Left...Mummy"? R 300. Please do ask me personally. Thank you.
9 August 2019 - Woman's day. Scaringly I never thought I would be ready yet. Ninja you rock! Thobeka Dhlomo, my karnal, a queen of your own!
21 JULY 2019 Letter to Superblist: Hi Superblist. As an individual who started off my prior last two little firms when Mom Chereldene Hamann was still on earth, sheeesh! indeed, we had hiccups, we learnt the tough way, many lessons and taken notes re: customer is always right and all that bla bla bla blady. Unless you have experienced, from scratch, with faith, independance and the PASSION to hold on to a dream of uplifting and promoting the skills of our awesome YOUTH in South Africa, you'd never know what feeling it is when the individual has been told that his design/ painting, earnings, bag, etc.has been purchased! That's already a second chance given without the client even aware of the pride and BLESSING that the youth has just been given the motivation and determination to continue a career dreamed of. The hiccups of starting a little firm is only but normal as we learn as new directors/ teachers/ trainers/ New Moms and Dad's. With my second child, 6 year old Milano Williams (R.I.P), Lord knows I had better knowledge hehe! Superblist, We've given birth to our new little firm, CHERLANO PTY LTD (Cheryl & Lano), this time without Mom, and would like to be an affiliate for you by displaying your beautiful items to my site with the skills we teach and train our communities in kwa Zulu Natal. It's an official venture firm constantly seeking sponsorship for upliftment projects, and we really small whom cannot promise much, but hopefully our current database will have an interest to your work you display. It is now 2019 going closer to 2020. We are in hope that we can United March into the newer millennium much more business ethics knowledgeable and stronger aiming for higher than the stars in customer satisfaction! Please, do contact our management/ marketing team should you be interested in going forth to assist in our proposal herewith. admin@tashtan.co.za.
Mom
6/7 September 2019
I do truly admire my Mother for so many reasons – she’s one amazing woman that is selfless, graceful, loving and strong. There is no other woman out there that I adore more. I can hand you a book of situations that she magically flipped into solutions. Mentally, I was raised and trained with this same rule and if it weren't for My Mother who drilled me into facts that God lives! I wouldn't be here today. Today on her birthday, I just want to say that I am one proud Daughter who was born from Mom's womb. I miss her terribly. Even if she is not with us in body now, those who know MY MUMMY, let me assure you, she has has definitely not left you in spirit, she never deserts friends not Family and you know I'm right! In our minds and in our hearts... smile because... Mummy Lives! Heavenly Birthday Mummy. More so sadly, its Daddy Henry Andrew Morrison's (Zanes Dad) funeral today as well. A Dad I had the opportunity of having for 2 years, who stretched out to me and extended his warm love out to me as an orphan, and I'm truly grateful for knowing a big hearted humerous gentle spirit as well. I was totally unable to walk into the cemetry yard... not again. Somebody I've grown to love and respect, whom I thought would still be around for much longer has also been taken into this horrific space were all departed souls meet. I just could not witness this, not again! It killed me. Thank you Dadzo for all your hugs, love, laughter and most especially the feeling of having what I miss so much, having a Dad, as today, 7 September 2019, we lay you to rest uncle "Stories" ....
FAITH
11/11/2019
I had approximately R100, my last few bucks to get by for a few. As I stepped out the shop from taking kimbies, toilet roll bread n eggs, the common young Indian lady that usually sells those illuminous lights thingies on our beach walked by with the tiniest baby, shoe sized about 5-6! I was in awe at the horrific weather and floods we currently having with death reporting system I've just heard of just prior to coming to the store, and her baby with just a checkers packet designed into a dress form😔. Not even a blanket! I had to do something. I know I'll be blessed into God's time, not mine. It was just sooooo sad.... ey... the world we live in huh. I did my chore to assist.
Point... I would get so mad at my single 3 children to feed Mom, living on that old building on the corner of Eloff and Bree, and yet it was our most struggling days prior to her blessed success at SABC, that those "change my whole day" knocks on our door would occur. Mom would give her last 20 bucks to that person and literally nothing else left in her pocket! Uuuuurgh! I'd be so pissed off with her and who ever that may be behind the door as I settle down my siblings cuddled in the old solid oak double brown seater. Only to get her calm pacified voice, reminding me of the sound a specified harp that the angels play, tell me "its ok my child, God will make a plan"... Too young to understand how she could say something like this at a bad time in our very own home...
Today, as a woman in my 40s' phase (or so horror affairs claim), I'm content at the lesson taught, as it's the same lesson taught and instilled me that's kept my suicidal and depth of emotional instability to an immediate stop...
The lesson taught? It's called FAITH! My clients, friends and family, Someday, my testimony SHALL set me free to be me...
10 April 2020 - May 2020 - Melandre' breaks
A Mother's Day without you is total misery Mummy. Did you see what happened yesterday? It was about 12h15 as my personal song dedication had been playing of Lizy from YouTube "Dancing in the sky", followed Immediately in the shuffle Play as if planned, CeCe Winanabs following in with Mercy said no, the song that Had Both my children in a video on YouTube. We were rehearsing our lithurgical dance wen Lano had decided to come in and join Melandre'and I hehe. Mummy had such a giggle and recorded everything. A most blessed video I'm so glad I posted before the incedent occurred.
(post link)
So, as that cute Luciano, Gershwin and I chat, my spirit catches flame causing me to Immediately turn to my daughter, whom I find silently sobbing from within, as if she's just received worst news, and in attempt of HIDING it from me. I don't as yet know what or why, but signal her an assurance of calmly putting her head into my shoulder with a few seconds of silence in hope that she'd talk to me.
With the manner in which my daughter starts off gives
READ MY TRAGEDY HERE.
Written on the 26 September 2018.... Chereldene Venetia Williams (Hamann) 6 September 1960 - 26 September 2015. "My Compadre’, My Karnal, my best friend, my guide, my fort…My QUEEN!!!!!!! Only God or another child who has lost a Mother would know how I feel on a day like this…It’s been extremely hard for me being your daughter for almost 3 years now. To some, it’s been so long, to me, still just like yesterday. We were extremely close my Mother and many admired the Mother/ Daughter bond you and I had. I never have and never will have a better best friend than you. I still don’t remember half of the day I lay you to rest, it’s still all a bit misty to me. People tell me bits here and there. I ask some ‘’why were you not at my family’s resting day’’? and I get responses like ‘’but Tanya I hugged you’’? Aaah well, I do apologise after that, But What I do remember Mummy, is when I stood there seeing you and My Son and Grampa sinking down into ground, a sight that flashes in front of me every now and then… Hey, I act the soldier you trained me to be… so they all think I’m ok… you know I’m not… Please just forgive me for today and the 26th , it’s humanly impossible to bear… Loving Mother… May the gentle leaves that fly in a breeze whisper your voice in my ear if it be God’s authorization. I love, miss and cherish the one and only woman in my life that would never leave my side, even in your absence, you are still here in my heart and my soul as my spirit is one with you…My Mother… You have enriched my life and made me who I am today. I miss you so much especially today, I want you to enjoy your birthday in heaven with all the angels and give Milano Williams and Miguel Louw the biggest piece of cake ok? You were the first person I thought of when I woke up this morning. I am truly so sad you are no longer with us, at the same time yet, I am still calm that you are happy and safe from harm in the arms of God. Mom, as your children, want you to know that even if you are no longer with us, we still love you and miss your presence. The word "Mummy" is very special as we hear others here on earth say it every day. ‘’Mummy’’ is the embodiment of love, affection, and care. Of all the moms in the world, you are simply the best. Our lives will never be the same again without you. The day you passed away has been the saddest day of my life, and even worse, as you passed together with my very own child Milano. On the day God made you Mummy, he specially designed you to be a soldier and embodiment of love. I want you to know that I will forever keep you in the deepest recesses of my heart until we meet again. Your Daughter… Tanya".
Tanya Williams says "I believe The Universe does not punish you. It does not bless you, nor control you. The universe responds to the vibration you create yourself and to others".
20 June 2020
You know those days when you have to be reminded:
The normal human problem. I've just been really thinking about that successful woman who came out of years of physical abuse, survived. She worked and pushed so darn hard to become the prior successful woman she was before abuse when she featured in the you magazine as the first female Coloured slots machine casino technician in South Africa and the first ever coloured woman chosen to work for Pirelli. Anyways, she lands up with the true love of her life, Milanos Daddy who betrayed her and yet she relived once again when running to Durban having her own little company with Mom and once again top agent at a company named Velociti.... Only yet to crash right down into and swallowed into the ground... I utter at myself daily... Which direction now...
Responses:
Kurt Koen - Thank you homey
" You know when you dont stop to remind yourself what you gave achieved in your past , what you were ,ehat you have done, how big you have made yourself by yourself as long as you continue reminding yourself about this achievement and greatness you have naturally within you, trust me its going to keep on coming ,often wont last, but then you know it was not the one thats planned for you but it kept you going for that period of time, so you then fall , you lost , its gine bitter pill to swallow yes indeed, but dont linger on your losses or failings its gonna slack you from getting up and continue to run towards your actual goal , so you remind urself iv come through many mountains and storms , iv survived them . What if my ultimate pot of gold is just in arms length .nd I sit down to ponder of giving up or let depression kill me. Ni. You now even tougher cos you came through all those ttials and test , so you only gonna need a lil more to finish your journey to reach you reward. Your gold medal your pot of gold. And then you can look at your road travelled ,sigh abd smile and say to urself shoo it was worth the race as you enjoy your glass champaing. Now you keep telling yourself I am Tanya williams im great im a champ im a survivor am an achiever. Because you are. And then continue go get it champ go get it , its urs already dont stop now , the perfect plan idea will come"
Sleep on it babe, and who knows might we can cinsider a joint something. Uhm my sweets Malano wascthe only man in your family . He was borrowed to you as your own for a while .but he needed to leave earlier homebound as his training and things had to start from the Original Creator. And Malano had to go start preparing yourl home for when the rest of you come , Mommy couldnt go with cos she has something big still that she is to achieve so granny was fine just to be by him that he not so lonely at that age you see. So they fine they happy they loving it.nd they always pop in by you don't ever forget that 😊
You Tanya Williams not many women that can stand like you and achieve on your own like you. Yet alone men . So continue to carry that name high babe.
Oh yes sweets kernal Saunders . Slept in his car . He went dior to door trying to sell hus few pcs if special homemade chicken ,only at 65 he hit his jackpot . Today its avlegacy worldwide.kfc . So we human we feel sad fir a moment but we dwell not on it for toi long .we get up to go fir our gold😘
Dominique Wessels - Thank you
Its not easy i knw n jus like u n sooo mny women out thr We hv2stand firm in our faith n fight the battles4our world2continue ......i dnt knw bby All i do knw is tht i hate the fact tht my hands r tied right now n ur feeling so kak.i wish i was thr2hold u
Carmel - Thank you
You have to keep pushing and be positive I know life is gutful neh, it's kuk but we have to, have to always believe there's a better day, days to come I understand al to well where you coming from my friend, I understand cause I've been there, we gotta keep trying, believing, trusting and having faith in God and in ourselves.
Veronica from CCA church, little did she know that she saved a soul - Thank you
Me: Hey God. God: Hello..... Me: I'm falling apart. Can you put me back together? God: I would rather not. Me: Why? God: Because you aren't a puzzle. Me: What about all of the pieces of my life that are falling down onto the ground? God: Let them stay there for a while. They fell off for a reason. Take some time and decide if you need any of those pieces back. Me: You don't understand! I'm breaking down! God: No - you don't understand. You are breaking through. What you are feeling are just growing pains. You are shedding the things and the people in your life that are holding you back. You aren't falling apart. You are falling into place. Relax. Take some deep breaths and allow those things you don't need anymore to fall off of you. Quit holding onto the pieces that don't fit you anymore. Let them fall off. Let them go. Me: Once I start doing that, what will be left of me? God: Only the very best pieces of you. Me: I'm scared of changing. God: I keep telling you - YOU AREN'T CHANGING!! YOU ARE BECOMING! Me: Becoming who? God: Becoming who I created you to be! A person of light and love and charity and hope and courage and joy and mercy and grace and compassion. I made you for more than the shallow pieces you have decided to adorn yourself with that you cling to with such greed and fear. Let those things fall off of you. I love you! Don't change! ... Become! Become! Become who I made you to be. I'm going to keep telling you this until you remember it. Me: There goes another piece. God: Yep. Let it be. Me: So ... I'm not broken? God: Of course Not! - but you are breaking like the dawn. It's a new day. Become!!! ~Author Unknown
Linda Parker - Thank you
The First Friend who stuck around...
Matric reunion
March 2020 - so when they said 2020 vision it was obviously a most accurate equilibrium to the ballance of either side of my ying Yang. One minute I was attending my very first ever matric re union with Candice, Cammy, Nadia and that sexy but Ficki, and the next? I'm unable to hide my excitement. There's this crazy ass Lano... Mr. Bullock. I have a story of my own that goes way back making me literally giggle in my mind. Then again, we both blame Angeliqye yet at the same time, glas
Emotion of excitement racing the most rushing a feeling I've ever had in my life!
**************************************$
CHAPTER 6 - CURRENTLY....
Another Chapter opens my baby is possessed - nobody would believe me. What do I do?
17thfeb - 16- 2021/22- child fell in head and Melandre begins to hit baba. I confide my all to Kim, my little cousin who was there with me on my dying day.
This is not the norm… Another episode begins … 5 years ago my daughter and I had lost My Mom, My 6 year old baby boy Milano, and my grandad in a fire. Torment is not the words and not even close to the reality of what you just imagine… I've had phases in my life... This one I fear and feel. This phase is pure evil and my blind eyed daughter who does not see an evil spirit has enticed her soul....
16 May
Below has been occurring often, but it's getting more and more irrate, as people from outside are even telling me if her weird actions of like jumping out right infront of them wanting to scare them and weird thuggish actions at them.
It's 5:30am and the knocking doesn't stop. Anyway, I give in and open
She wakes me up to ask me which group on my WhatsApp must she respond to because I told her that the group is sending her messages?
I confirm to her that I'd actually just woken up now because of her disturbance of urgently wanting me awake. Asked what is the matter.
She takes my phone and shows me pointing her finger in the Bible, but yet not reading anything (usually if one doesn't understand, we'd go over it slowly together to try to capture and understand the passage. Not this time).
I paused waiting for her to maybe prepare something for me, only to find that she's busy typing gibarish in my groups that make no sense at all😳.
She's still persists that "they" must be told by her.
Told what? I have no cooking clue🤷🏽♀️
I'm convinced that there is something serious going on in her head. Two years ago when these students attacked her causing three big holes in her head, of which was literally a effort of stitching her nerves and head back together, does take approx 5 years to fully repair the doc said. Mela is speaking things and doing things that just makes no sense.
I heard her crying, so obviously I go to my child. She tells me to leave her because it's got nothing to do with me and continues to cry like a mad woman talking to herself. I tell her that I love her and I'm right here if she needs me and retrieve back to my room. I'm not sure what to think of this; if it could be the stupid weed that she's maybe mixing something in it, then again, not to be judgemental, is it the injuries of the beating and stab to her head. I'm worried about this ofcourse, but I'm worried about baby even more so, especially that the therapist said that Melandre must do a week's get away from the normal surrounding and that she needs to breathe out for a few days… I'm still thinking of who she can visit just to do as therapist advises. Ey…. Any suggestions?
2022 May 26
Started a new method. So when she started her talking to herself a short while ago at first I'd be so mad and laugh with her that she's alone in the room and both of us would make a joke of it. She started getting louder until such a point of her swearing and shouting at a nobody. Baby began a very unsettling scream as If being pinched or hurt. At this point baby has fallen off the bed a few times now.
She put no protection for baby.
3/4 June
It's been a week. At first I did not realise
Day by day it gets worse. For 3 minutes she's heavens Angel, the next moment she's on a switch straight to hell.
She makes me a lovely cup of coffee any darling child would do without asking me if I wanted. The next she wants to throw me with it! For the past few mornings she's been hanging loud on my door to open it. I'm talking early hours. The baby has developed a terrifying scream against her Mother.
She is for just a moment a Blessed Angel reading her bible peacefully, the next she's screaming passages out loud and cursing anybody she looks at, including my boarder who has said nor done nothing. He is currently looking for another place. We'll be fast asleep, then she'd come banging on doors screaming at us to stop talking about her because she can hear what we said about her. I swear we were all fast asleep. She's got no idea what she said or done two minutes later. When I told her what she did, she'd deny it telling me I'm lying.
I've instructed her not to listen to them (the voices) because they are firstly, leading her astray. And also to go on her knees as God's humble child and open her heart.
It's so frustrating but it's real and it's true. This spiritual warfare she's fighting within herself is too powerful.
You literally have to witness this to believe my word….
My child needs spiritual help. People are walking around claiming that she's mad.
She's not mad. It's either she's finally decided to let go and now realise that the fire happened and they gone, and the mental mind has finally got to grips with it… Or she's just had a breakdown like I did two years ago! My child needs help…
At 03:10am I heard a noise and when checking, she's left my flat with baby and finally found her on ground floor wanting to go out! My soul screams for someone to please help me. I turn to Deleney… Mentally and spiritually my daughter seems to be disturbed. The baby is a massive concern even more right now.
I don't know what to do…
7 June 2022
It's 4h20am Wednesday and I get awoken to go to the clinic. We had the meeting yesterday to attend, though Wednesday. She'd forgotten that we confirmed it, or did not know the day. During the night she'd popped in twice to get a smoke from me, odd hours. She's got no idea of the date, day, time, nor even her age. She's actioning that of a little child.
Friday, 3 June 2022
The "CAUSE" CHILD by Tanya Williams
The "CAUSE" CHILD
by Tanya Williams
Written Spirit Speaks (5):
... I do believe that opinion, personal experiences and pure fact, are of way more interest in stable knowledge, compared to that of Aunty Sandra that lives on that same corner house, and knows everybody’s business besides her own, in her very own dirty backyard... The lady with the black pepper spreads fibs!
I trust my writings to be aimed at those who seek some sense to a certain situation needing solution, even though it’s just my handful of help and hope...
“It’s because of you I never
finished school, It’s because of you I’m in this position.” Well
parents? You know how that ends up right? Slamming things, attitude,
disrespect, backchats, emotional, verbal or physical abuse towards you,
and some cases, even death. Well, I think I just a few when you raised those eyebrows in sarcastic agreement...
GRAB YOUR WORDPRESS SITE HERE NOW!
You will walk around in this
pain silenced for the rest of your life until your last breathe on
earth, accepting the tragedy of a permanent broken heart, of which by
the way, your child will only begin feeling once you’re gone. And I
suppose, he or she will have to just live with it too right up until his or her last breathe too.
Hence, the continuous generations sad sorrow souls continue with the curse of
tormented dying hearts...
Too often have I heard, as if echoes of repetition "What
have I done to deserve this or “why me?” obviously with the response of
no answer, and the only reason for this is because the answer lies
within you...
...So, John has a bad day at school, because he’s a loner, a fat boy, or
maybe a weirdo, hence peer pressure reasoning leads him committed like a
non to her honor to God. John has the need to fit in? Hence goes ahead with the initiation... ''
Would you like to read more? ....
Includes a guide with notes on "Steps on how to exercise unity''.
Please support me with your purchase of $3, in order to maintain the materials and resources I use to keep you intrigued, interested and keeping HOPE entwined and bound together with straw strings of FAITH!
www.Paypal.me/cherlano
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