Memory Loss - The Worst Frustration

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MEMORY LOSS

The Worst Frustration

As celebrations warm up outside, closer and closer it gets to the countdown of yet another new year, every home is stocked with fire crackers, booze and sweets! Yet, at this home, misery begins on the very morning of new year's eve as once again, his mental problem of memory loss fills the air with his own doubts as to who has been stealing from him.

It’s now about the umpteenth time that Mark is doing this as Sania stares at her boyfriend in disappointment. She's advised him over countless occasions to please calm down and think breathing slowly and counting calmly, of which he's taken her advice like only once. He does not even eradicate her from the blame as he points at everybody in his house that morning. He merely sits in his lounge, glaring at his floor, demanding everybody leaves his home. She first wonders and awaits his signal to tell her that he’s obviously not involving her in this, but he doesn’t, even after an hour he utters not a single word of hope to her. This is her last straw. Silently, Sania turns to her daughter Shelandre' who is herself quite disappointed in Mark for his actions. Sadly, she starts assisting her Mom by packing up all their belongings slowly, as if she’s pausing the clock for Mark to apologize. This house has gotten to a point of a beautiful loving home in their hearts. Shelandre' was a bit sad, as now she’s gotten quite used to the big sister figure act to little Heather, Marks little cute angelic daughter, and really loved doing her hair each morning for school. Shelandre' feels the pain within her Mother’s heart. 

"I know for certain it was right there because I had put it here myself! and if anybody is stealing in my house, I’m going to find out who you are and sort you out!" Mark roars to all in his presence. What was supposed to be a beautiful new years eve, already started a complete disaster at approximately 10am that morning, as Mark had blamed the world for his R200 that had been missing from a certain spot he was positive that he placed it.

 To Mark, he was always right no matter what and would anger should you even challenge to debate that the cat is actually brown, because if Mark said the cat is green, then everybody is to be silent to his apparent correct statement of a green cat. In turn, this behavior cost him the loss of his loving girlfriend Sania, who felt quite hurt, and finally had enough from a man she loved so much, hence sadly walked out of his life with a shattered broken heart, with full knowledge and assured silence that she was no part of his accusations in her direction. This also, had not even been the fourth time that an occurrence such as this had taken place with only Sania and her daughter in the house prior to his visitors arriving for the party that Sania never got to be part of. Instead, spent midnight crying for her Mom and Son who sadly passed away a few years ago leaving her and Shelandre' alone in this cruel world. Sania was hurting deeply with a soul that became empty. She's got to start all over again.

It's 3 days later as Mark is clearing out all the beer cans and left over party junk caused by the millennium celebrations, and as he tilts his mattress, a R200 note flies out from beneath the sheet he’s changing. Mark remembers now only that he switched his hiding spot that night. 

Mark was wrong, once again, and too proud to apologize, leaving his now ex girlfriend eternally feeling betrayed by an incident of which she truly was innocent. That’s an intro to my next book that I just completed guys... for the entire book is R25 if you interested.

This my friend, is so wrong. Mark’s incorrect judgement will roam forever in the far back of Sania’s mind until the day he does apologies, which will never happen. That’s simply because Mark is too shy to shove his pride in his pocket and show real manhood to go apologies to Sania, and I’m oh so certain that you must be shaking your head in agreement with me right? As true as the wheel turns 360 degrees, just so does life on Mark as he continues to live silently with his short memory disability, treating others as he treated Sania and sadly lives a lonely life until his last breathe on earth. The funeral attendance revealed the obvious of friends and family who turned backs on him. If Mark only just spoke up on his own behalf to admit he was indeed having a problem, there would be help and methods available to him, as simple as a cheap little lock up diary that he could read each morning, then carry on with a blessed day with a smile of knowledge added to his face instead of hiding it in his back pocket. 

There are certain daily ongoing mishaps of people who live like Mark, with a high level of memory loss who make others suffer simply because they are always right, too stubborn, or too shy to admit their problem. It just makes no sense to those who love you, to suffer under your denial methods of anger and blame. To tread around you has no happiness in many hearts of those with solid love for you. They would rather have peace and an aura of love and happiness in your presence, and unless you stand up for the name and reasons of love, you will never know the experience of what they lack with and from you. It’s time to stand tall, admit it, breathe in, and take advice and in turn,it surely will fill up with everyone involved, so a much better point of understanding is established between all concerned that you have hurt.

My depression phase had cut out many memories, and not because I chose to, but because the pain that I had been experiencing from the loss of my family was just too overloaded in my soul, that it affected me from remembering where I has just put the cup down 2 minutes ago, causing me to search my entire home for a cup of coffee I just had in my hand! This would carry on daily, and built with frustration, I’d anger and lash out to any stupid next remark. One moment I’d be jovial and content, in the next instant, I’d be the total bitch. This my friend was so bad, it lead to, and sadly impacted my very own and only daughter, until the day I realized how so suddenly two best friends had parted as if they never knew each other ever existed, and self admitted it first, and that’s the first step to your freedom!

Have a one on one discussion with yourself, but record it. Agree to disagree with something you think you know a lot about. And then debate with yourself about the pros and cons of it all. Have you ever been loyal to one person in life? Did you ever give someone a chance to speak out? Did you ever listen and not just hear?

The Best Frustration

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Big T

Other books:

ENNERDALE, MY HOME?

"I'M 21 MOM"

ONE TEAR LEFT MUMMY

And more...

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